The Quest

Today's post may not make any sense to anyone but me. I'm okay with that. Becoming a stay-at-home-mom has been fabulous. I absolutely love getting to take care of Reese constantly and attempt to keep the house in tact and provide food on the table at every meal. Now that little girl is four months old, however, I'm finding myself with extra time on my hands. I've always been the kind of person to read about or hear of a new "lifestyle" that I think is just perfect, and I try to adopt it as my own. For example, I've decided I'm going to workout every morning, read my Bible before anyone else gets up, try new recipes three times a week, eat healthy at every meal, get crafty and make something new each week, have a cleaning schedule where I have a list of what to clean each day, write letters to my friends daily, and the list goes on and on...I've decided I'm going to do these things several times. And guess what? I've never been too successful. I am not so sure why I keep failing, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with false hope that those things will make me completely happy and a well-rounded person who so many people will love and adore. Ha. Anyone with me? Or am I just crazy? Regardless, I want to live a life that is pleasing to God. I am tired of trying some "thing" that I think will make everything just perfectly swell. All of those things I've tried are fabulous and are still things I want to do, but I need to stop thinking that I can adopt all of those things in one day. (That's a lot of "things" in one sentence.) I find myself wandering around online looking at Facebook, Etsy, J.Crew, the blogging world, and checking my e-mail way too often these days because I'm stuck on what to do next. I absolutely hate admitting this right now, but I feel like I've gotten a bit lazy. Which "thing" should I try next? Who should I become? The healthy eater and great cook? The crafty girl with unique ideas for around the house? The clean freak who always has it "together"? The answer is I need to be me. I would love to become all of these things, but I'm realizing that I first need to seek God and his plan for me. My identity is in Christ and not in what I can do. That means for ME to pray any time of the day about whatever is on my mind and to read his Word anytime it comes across my mind which is thankfully pretty often. It means for ME to be okay with the occasional sweet attack, the lazy day, the unmade bed, the nap with Reese, the frozen pizza, and so on and so on. Kate Walker isn't going to look the same each day. One day may be a clean day. The next may be a cooking day. The next may be an active day. The next may be a crafty day. However, I want to strive for each day to be a day pleasing to Christ, and I think the rest will fall into place. As the sampler my Granny made for our wedding says, "Count that day lost whose low descending sun views from thy hand no worthy action done." I just rambled, and like I said before it may not make sense to anyone but me, but through writing this post, I'm learning more about myself and who God wants me to be. Crazy how he works, huh? I never thought of myself as a perfectionist, but it kind of appears to me that I am a failed perfectionist. I want things to be so perfect that if it's not going to work how I want it to, I give up completely. No more. And I'm not going to change tomorrow, but I do commit to loving Christ and loving myself. The rest will fall into place, and I'll keep you updated. Okay, I have to go get Reese Peese up from her nap. Yes, I'm actually WAKING HER UP from a nap. Cue the chorus! It's a fabulous day!

Thanks for reading my rambling. :)

And as a short side note, our little eating experiment the other night wasn't as successful as I originally thought. In our little girl's mind, cereal= BAD GAS. We struggled all night long and are slowly working on another way to deliver this iron enriched food for Reese. I have received several pieces of advice, and I think they will work...now if she can just figure how to use that tongue correctly. This video is from her first bite of cereal, and that's Emmett drinking his water in the background.